nightcure | airlocked cmo post

I-...yes, I'm alright. [Deep breaths. Focus, concentrate, don't think of the sounds of rushing water and torrential rain.]

It's a bit cold but...outside might be best. Somewhere we're less likely to be overheard.

[ For a long moment--or maybe it's short, but it feels like it stretches on--Noctis studies Ardyn. ]

... This is pretty serious, [ he says sincerely, and if Ardyn allows him, he'll rest a hand on his back in what he hopes is a comforting gesture. ] Come on. Let's go.

[ He'll lead the way. And he'll trust Ardyn to follow. ]

[Ardyn didn't pull back or shake off the contact, but he was clearly shaken by whatever the problem was; his usual composure was barely present, and what little he had was struggling to stay in place. Without a word of argument or complaint, he followed a step behind Noctis until thy reached the front porch.]

You'll not like what I have to say. And you may wish to sit down first.

I'll decide that when I've heard what you've got to tell me.

[ He has been walking for a while; walking, with no goal in mind. His head still feels stuffed full of too many thoughts and things left unsaid and unfinished.

The PIP on his arm feels ten times heavier.

Noctis sits with one knee propped up, arm resting on it, and looks up at Ardyn. ]

Alright. I'm listening.

...

[He took a slow breath, pushing violet hair from his face and reaching up to tie it back before speaking as steadily as he could manage.]

What do you-...what do you know of hat happened in Altissia after you fought Leviathan?

[ Oh.

Noctis lets out a breath. So, that's what this is about? He knows well that Ardyn had been in Altissia, but... he had assumed he'd gotten out of dodge after-- ]

Not... a whole lot. [ He doesn't meet Ardyn's eyes. Noctis rubs at the back of his neck. ] Just that Iggy-- Ignis got blinded somehow.

He never told me how, though.

[Damnable fucking gods. Of course he'd not said anything, why make things any easier?]

[Ardyn faltered, hands falling from his hair and yellow eyes drifting off to the side.]

...Do you wish to know what transpired?

[ Noctis looks up at him, and he's... conflicted. He does. He wants to know. He wants to know so badly that it aches. He wants to know what happened to Ignis, to get him to try to convince Noctis--

Perhaps it might be best if we brought our journey to a close.

--to convince Noctis to--

...if I give up now, their sacrifices would have been for nothing! And you... you, of all people... You should know that better than anyone.

--to give it up.

It's a long time before he answers. ]

... Yeah. I do.

There is no gentle or tactful way to explain this. [Another deep breath, another attempt to keep himself focused in this specific moment. The shadows of Altissia were heavy over Ardyn's head, recollection too close and too vivid to ignore.]

I can't say when they crossed paths, but he fought his way through Niflheim's army to the altar alongside Ravus. That was....what brought them to encounter me. I knocked out the High Commander and forced your adviser into a corner. I don't-...I couldn't possibly have predicted-

[Ardyn faltered only for a second or two, trying to focus on Noctis with a distant stare trying to stay focused.]

...The next thing I remember, he'd overpowered a group of magitek troopers and...

Astrals, Noctis, he put on the Ring to fight me himself.

[ He fought with Ravus? Noctis can't even begin to imagine how they met up, or even why and how they agreed to fight together. That's the first thought that crosses Noctis's mind.

And then it all goes blank. Noctis's eyes widen, and he feels like he can't breathe. Like someone's punched the wind out of him. He's aware of a dull roar in his ears, of a throbbing in his head, and his hands start to shake. He curls them into tight fists, so tight that his knuckles turn white. ]

Th-- What? He-- There's no-- That's insane, he shouldn't have-- He didn't have to--

[ His mind is going too fast for his mouth to keep up. Too many thoughts in his head, all fighting to get out. Noctis uncurls his right hand and presses it against his face. ]

Damn it, Ignis.

I-...don't know what to say. I don't even know how he survived something like that.

[Ardyn fell silent, glancing off to the side again and then back at Noctis.]

Are you alright?

[ The ring feels cold and heavy on his finger.

First, Ravus had lost his arm for it. It hadn't been for Noctis--quite the opposite--but it's a fact that weighs heavily on him. If things had gone differently all those years ago, would Ravus have pulled such a stupid act? Would Ravus have fought alongside him?

Second, Nyx Ulric. He'd wielded it long enough to protect Insomnia best he could. He had died afterward, sacrificed himself for his king. Noctis wants--has always wanted--to thank him. For his sacrifice, for protecting Luna. All the Glaives had...

... And then Ignis. Ignis. Noctis isn't an idiot. He knows full well why Ignis did it. ]

He... the reason he--

[ His eyes. Ignis has always been the one to provide Noctis with clarity, has always been the one to help Noctis see the path he needs to take. ]

It's my fault.

[ How many people will keep risking and sacrificing their lives just for him? ]

...You can't think that way.

[Ardyn shook his head, straightening up and forcing himself to focus. This wasn't about him or the crushing agonizing guilt he felt over the things he'd done. It was about Noctis, about his friends and the suffering all they had gone through at Ardyn's hands.]

[At his side, his right hand bearing the exact same ring curled into a loose fist. His left, however...came up to rest light on Noctis' shoulder.]

You were not the one to determine the price of the magic of our bloodline. You did not decide to be the Chosen upon which the fate of the planet rested, to whom others would swear their lives to guard and protect. None of it was ever in your control, and therefore you should not be allowed to shoulder blame for it.

It is true that a king should carry the pain and suffering of his people; carry it, but not be held accountable for that which is ever out of his control. The Astrals' game was ever rigged against you. Blame me, blame the gods, blame the Lucii--but not yourself.

[ He knows he shouldn't. He knows he can't. He knows that if he thinks that way, he'll spiral down. Noctis spends a lot of time in his head, blaming himself, and it's dangerous. Especially in his current situation, that line of thinking could get him killed.

... and yet.

Noctis looks at Ardyn, and his guilt is practically written across his face. All of his hurt and regret is laid out for Ardyn to see. ]

Even if I didn't decide it, we got dragged into it. All of us. And they shouldn't have had to suffer. I know... no one would have chosen that. No one could have predicted just what was in store. But none of you should've had to suffer. Luna. Ignis. Ravus. Gladio and Prompto. You and everyone else, they--

[ Noctis draws in a sharp breath. He knows he should include himself. But it's something he's been struggling with for a long time. He's grown so accustomed to carrying this burden, carrying--like Ardyn said--pain and suffering. And oh, how he's done that... perhaps a little too well. ]

You all deserved better. [ He pauses, and he looks conflicted. ] ... We deserved better. Better than anything the Astrals gave us.

Yes, we did. Every single person on our planet deserved better than they received, but that regrettably does not change the outcome. Neither does holding yourself accountable for being dealt a losing hand from the very beginning.

...Few deserved a different fate so much as you did, Noctis.

If I could-- go back and change things, I would. We both would, huh.

[ He's quiet for a long time after that. He wonders... will the network use this? They have to know what Ignis did for him. They have to. He still has no idea how they pull off their memory bullshit, but...

Wouldn't it make for an interesting fifth season? To bring in the endlessly devoted adviser, strip him of his memories. Confuse and disorient him, because from the first day he'd know he should be able to see. He'd do damn near anything to protect Noctis.

A cold pit of dread settles at the bottom of Noctis's stomach. ]

... He tried to get me to quit, you know. After I woke up, he came and talked to me. He-- He told me he thought we should stop our journey.

[ It comes out only a touch confused. ]

...There are many things I would change given the ability. But dwelling on an impossible concept will only serve to drive one insane.

[But Noctis' next words caused Ardyn to hesitate, frowning in confusion.]

Why would-...that makes no sense.

... Yeah. I know a thing or two about dwelling on stuff you shouldn't.

[ He lets out a frustrated sigh. It's more like a huff. ]

He... said it was because we'd already lost too much. But he-- he should've known I wouldn't buy that.

Obviously not. So then, why--

[Whatever it takes, I will protect him--]

[...It didn't take a genius to see those words were no exaggeration. But then--would a person like that allow anything, immortal or Lucii or Astrals, to jeopardize that? No, of course not, but...but did he know? Was that even possible, for anyone else to comprehend the true sacrifice the prophecy demanded?]

. . .

[ He's honestly still trying to wrap his head around it. It's... it's impossible that Ignis would know about Noctis's fate. Impossible. Noctis chalks it up to Ignis being that worried about Noctis, about his state of... well, everything, after losing Luna and nearly dying.

He's so deep in thought that he doesn't notice Ardyn's gone quiet. When he does, he looks at him, frowning. ]

Ardyn?

...no, it isn't possible. [Ardyn shook his head, gradually pulling himself out of his thoughts.] Surely there isn't a chance anyone else could have known what was meant to happen to you.

[ ... ah. Noctis swallows hard. So they were thinking the same thing. ]

Yeah. It's impossible. He would've said something if he'd seen something.

[ ... but would he have? ]

[Ardyn admitted he didn't exactly know Noctis' friends more than necessary to prod at their insecurities and manipulate things as he'd seen fit. But...]

Not to put too fine a point on it, but it sounds as though there is quite a lot he did not say.

airlocked cmo post

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject